After credibility and empathy, Persuasion is last.

After the audience and client believe you know enough to help them, and that you also care enough to help them with their problems, you have to persuade them to take action.

For each point you want to make, have at least one convincing element. This is a data point or set, a story, a testimonial, or example; whatever proof source makes sense that will show why your key point is important. Don't just say it - prove, illustrate or explain it. Make the connections between what you are advocating and your client's problem. To see your value, don't make them work any harder than they have to.

When choosing proof sources, unless you are dealing with a single person you know well, mix them up. More likely, your audience will be made up of different people who look for different kinds of proof.

Some people like facts and figures. Have some ready.

Some people like testimonials, analogies, success stories about others who have used your product or service. Have these ready too.

This way, everyone listening will have something to hang their hat on that makes your persuasive argument.

Finally, ask them to do something. Buy your product, agree to a next meeting, and make a recommendation . Give a direction that will bring them closer to solving their problem. It is good also if they disagree. You can discover what next step they want to make.

The three steps in persuasion are creating credibility, demonstrating empathy and being persuasive

Empathy next

There is more to credibility than knowing enough. You have to care enough.

Remember “There’s Something About Mary”? Matt Dillon shows empathy and wins the attention of Cameron Diaz by sharing how he loves working with mentally disabled kids ("Those goofy bastards are about the best thing I've got going.") proving he understands her situation with her own disabled brother. That he is lying makes the whole thing fated to fail and funny.

In addition to knowing enough to help with your customers business problems, you need the perception that you care enough about your customer to help them with their problems. And what else? You really do need to really care. You have to be sincere.

I had a customer who was asked by my competitor's sales rep to cover for lies on the rep’s expense report. Do you think that rep was ever trusted by that customer?

I doubt it.

Empathy understands how the customer feels. It is giving up your judgments, your answers and interruptions. It is putting on their shoes and imagining “what if this were me…”

Show this by listening, sharing and clarifying.

Listen without interruption.

Share your feelings, and clarify by repeating, in your own words, what you understand about their situation.

These things prove you care and understand.

Repeating what you heard and understand is probably the easiest and most beneficial thing you can do to prove your empathy. But using your own words is important. Avoid being a parrot.

When I give my children instructions, to confirm I sometimes ask “now, what will you do?” If they just repeat my words back to me, I suspect they really do not understand, do not care, nor plan to do what I asked. But, if they tell me in their own words how they will do what I ask, then I know they understand.

Yes, do this consciously, and be sincere. You will win the customer’s trust. If not, like Matt Dillon, you lose the girl.

Credibility First

Without credibility, no one cares.

Credibility is the customer’s perception that you have the knowledge and experience to help them with their business problems.

Create credibility for yourself by sharing your experience and past success with customers or your presentation audience. This is not boasting, it is demonstrating you know what you are talking about. Even if you do not have experience in their specific industry, talk about how you successfully solved problems similar to theirs. For example, all small businesses have challenges in marketing themselves, or finding and keeping good talent. These problems are the same whether they are caterers or insurance agents.

Share common experiences you have with your audience. If you have worked with people in their industry, tell them. If you like the local food, history or the weather, tell them. This builds connections with your audience. Share with them who you are, so they have a reason to listen and believe you.

Dress and behave as the audience expects. Aim to be a bit better dressed than your audience, but not so much that you stand out as “the suit”. When I was making sales calls throughout New Mexico as a company representative, some customers wore business suits, many more were casual. I wore a suit and tie. But the suit jacket stayed in the car during summer visits to rural and “Mom & Pop” business customers. I kept the suit but removed the tie in cooler months. When my company endorsed a casual business dress code, I would wear a golf shirt, but made sure it was branded with my company logo, and I wore dress slacks, not chinos. How else would they tell me apart from their customers!? Some speakers and facilitators create a “brand” by wearing only black. This also makes it easier to pack for travel.

Don’t know what your audience might be like?

Do your preparation work and ask someone. Talk to someone who will be in your audience, or someone who knows your audience. Find a person of influence with your audience and ask them what you should expect to see and hear, and what you need to do to be seen as credible. Use such a decision-maker to create credibility for yourself by asking them to introduce you and give the reasons why they chose to work with you.

Lisa B Marshall does a great concise job of describing this audience discovery process in detail. Check it out for examples of specific questions to ask.

The danger in doing this is looking like an arrogant bastard. Nobody likes to tell you their challenges only to be matched by your even greater accomplishments. If I tell you how I broke my leg, don’t tell me about how you broke two legs and still out-swam a shark.

To prevent this maintain empathy and a focus on the customer. Keep their concerns the topic, not yours. Your stories should always serve to highlight your customers concerns, never out shine them.